The Lord Answers Prayers

Sorry I have not been as good latley on  updating you all on my latest brain anerysum status. We went to a brain anerysum specialist here in Utah last week. Each time we went to a dr/neologist/neosurgeon, etc we went to someone that knew more than the last each time, so each time we went we learned more, became more informed, etc due to the knowledge and level of the Dr. we were seeing. When we went to the brain anerysum specialist we thought we were going into schedule the acutal procedure/surgery called pipelining. However, we heard the exact opposite of what we thought we were going to hear.

He told us that due to the location of my anerysum on my brain that doing ANY procedure at ALL would be a HUGE risk, bigger than even leaving it alone would be. He said that if were to go in and try to meddle with it to fix it that I would have a bigger change of me having a stroke and or other complications than we would if were to just leave it alone. He also said that my anerysum is the type that only has a 1 in a 1000 chance of it acutally ruptering, and its not the type that leads to a stroke, I will have other symptoms not as scary... so that is awesome! So he said why fix it right now if its not broke, I have lived my whole life with it and been fine, besides my random seizure episodes I have I am totally fine. He told us to just to annual checks on it to see if it gets bigger or anything, so every winter I will get an MRI.

My problems are still there, I still have a brain anerysum and I still have siezures, however  I don't have to go through surgery and I will be ok! As far as my seizures go, I am suppose to monitor them, keep a log, and if they get worse they are going to put me on medication.

Of course I am happy with all of this and its secretly what I have always hoped for throughout this, but I was ticked a bit at first because I was frustrated that I had to go through all of this for pretty much nothing. It has been so hard emotionally, plus all the money, time and effort my parents put into it for nothing. Plus I quit my job in Cali, dropped everything in my life and moved back to Utah for nothing now..,

However I now know that everything happens for a reason, there is a reason I went through all of this, and maybe the lord just needed me back in Utah right now, so here I am to figure life out here. I just got a job working for a website company called Only Websites, I am the communication between the client and the web developer to make sure the client is happy and gets what they want. So far life is comming together still have a long ways to go, but I am going to be ok and everything really does happen for a reason.

It Changes Everyday...

Ok so litterally everything in my life is crazy right now.. and everyday the updates change for what they want to do about my anerysum. I guess my anerysum is very rare because of the location of the anerysum on my brain. It is litterally barried in the very back of my brain pretty deep, which means alot of the normal procedures that are out there to fix it are not the best for me and they have alot of risks due to the location of my anerysum... so it turns out they are not able to do the coiling procedure because of it...

However, they have to do something about it.. I want them to do something about it... It such a huge blessing that we even found the anerysum so we could fix it and do something about it... so many people have undiagnosed brain anerysums that rupture without warning that possibly lead to death.. so its AMAZING that we found it so that DOES NOT HAPPEN!! Therefore, we are going to take care of this! Luckily there is a brand new procedure especially for un-operable anerysums and rare cases which is what mine is it is called Pipelining: read this for an explanation of what the procedure is. http://www.mir.wustl.edu/graphics/assets/media/FocalSpotWinter2009/pipeline_FS_winter_2009_2010.pdf

It has a 93% success rate and is supposed to be a pretty easy procedure which is great! However, there is a catch... there is always a catch! It is not approved my the FDA in the United States yet, its a procedure that has only been around since 2007, so it only aproved in Europe so far!!! What the?? But no worries I guess they will be able to do it in Salt Lake, however the catch is my insurance wont cover it fully... ehhh feel so bad for my parents...Anywho we don't even know if they can do this procedure yet.. I have another appointment on the 18th of this month with a Europeon Dr. in Utah to see if he can preform it on me... cross your fingers!!

Long story short... I am moving back to Utah next week to take care of all of this.. It is just such a mess to keep flying back and forth and for me to keep taking a week off of work here in Cali to do that, plus I have no idea how long it will take to recover from the procedure and how intense it will be..I just need my parents right now, having their love and support has made this 10 times easier and I just need to be with them right now. I am going to miss Cali so much! it was almost 80 degrees outside today and its February it anybody loves that its me!!

Plus of course I am going to miss connections I have made here and my amazing sister Karisa, her husband Scott, and adorable niece Zoe, they are so great! Bitter sweet this whole expericence is! I will be ok this is a blessing in disguise and it will all work out I know it!!

Update On My Crazy Life!

my marathon in life I am currently trying to finish!

Ok so if you have been following up with my crazy, drama life latley then you are well aware that I recently found out I have a brain anerysum due to what we found out to be called partial complex seizures, where I just blank out for 30 seconds or more kinda like I am there but I can't hear you or answer you.. its wierd..

Anywho, I went to Utah to get tests done recently for it to see how serious it is and what the options are to get it fixed. All the tests I had done for it are: MRI, EEG, and a procedure called an Angiogram. Let me tell you what none of these tests were fun by anymeans.. however they had to be done and it will all be worth it in the end.

Brain Anerysums are pretty serious if they rupture, they can  result in death... However it is a very low percentage that they actually rupture.. however that percentage grows by 2% each year I get older therefore it really is such a blessing that we found it when we did so we can fix it. The neosurgeon told us that if I was  90 years old and in a resthome he would not even have us do anything about it, but since I am so young and active and at child bearing age they say we should definatley do something about it so I don't have to worry about it.

Now keep in mind I had my angiogram test on Thursday and my neurologist and neurosurgeon appointments were not until Monday and Tuesday...So that means we had to wait the whole weekend in anticipation and worry to be able to get some answers and some peace of mind finally.. lets just say it was not an easy thing to do. I did get to hang out with friends in Utah which was nice, again I say bitter sweet.

I was worried about 2 things happening once I went to the appointments which are: loosing my license due to my siezures (people with seizures get their license taken away depending on how serious they are since it would be bad to be driving then have one) and the second thing I was worried about would be having to get brain surgery where they would have to shave my head..

The good news is.... I can keep my license and I can keep my hair... I do still have to get some type of surgery however I will explain... So the neurosurgeon said that due to the location of my anerysum it is in a way difficult spot to operate on and there would be alot of risks with it, so he did not want to do that...
so the second option is a procedure called coiling which is Coil embolization:  During this procedure, a small tube is inserted into the affected artery and positioned near the aneurysm. Tiny metal coils are then moved through the tube into the aneurysm, relieving pressure on the aneurysm and making it less likely to rupture. This procedure is less invasive and is believed to be safer than surgical clipping.

Therefore, it is basically like a tube inside my brain to protect the anerysum so if it ruptures it ruptures into the tube instead of directly effecting me. Yes it will still be scary and painful but it is so much better then having to get actual brain surgery and I get to keep my long hair! We are planning on doing this all before my insurance runs out in June.. so within the next month or so...

I want people to know that I will be ok there is light at the end of the tunnell, I still have no idea what this means exactley for my life right now, things are litterally crazy in my life right now with this and other things, but I will be ok. I have never read my scriptures and prayed so hard in my life as I had now, I honestly don't know what I would do without the church in my life and the support of my family and friends right now all of that makes this a whole mess so much easier to deal with, so I sincerely thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers!

Just What I Needed

Througout all I am going through I read this today and it helped me so much and I loved it, it really gave me the positive attitude and peace of mind I am in need of right now.


Read this if your in need of a little comfort and peace of mind

Here it is :
http://lds.org/general-conference/1992/04/patience-in-affliction?lang=eng

Home for the Holidays

Challenges

"Face up to fear, challenges are huge blessings" --Dove Chocolate Wrapper

So.......

Life has been not so great latley, I am going through a rough patch in my life.. was not even going to talk about it on here but I am in need to vent and get it all out, plus I don't think alot of people actually read my blog so why not? I am not going to post this on facebook and tell the world, I just needed to get it all out on help explain whats going on to loved ones not over text..

So.... its a way long, complicated story so get ready! Ok so I have had a wierd thing going on with me for about 3 years now but had no idea anything was really wrong with me until about 3 months ago.. It turns out I have been having a form of a seizure called an absence siezure. It is not the on the ground, shaking, totally out type of seizure you are thinking about, this is where I just black out and loose consciousness for about 30 seconds with my head down, if I am standing up at the time I never actually fall down, I just put my head down and look at the floor and am non responsive for about 30 seconds, then I have a hard time speaking for about 2 mins after like I stutter over my own words, but then after that I am totally fine for the rest of the day. It is so wierd, I had no idea what I look like and what happens to me when I do it. It has always happened to me when I am alone until recently.  My sister Karisa saw me have one at Target back in October and she told me that it definatley was not normal and I needed to get it checked out... so she told my mom and  my mom made me a Dr. Apointment. I only have insurance in Utah because I am still on my parents insurance and their insurance is not covered in Cali so I had to do everything while I was in Utah for the holidays. So my trip to Utah was bitter sweet. While I was in Utah I had to have an EEG and MRI tests to test the brain activity in my brain and look for other issues. We still dont have the results back from my EEG, however we do have the results from the MRI back and it turns out they found a small anerysum on my brain... yup exciting right?! UGG! what the heck does that mean right? Well I have no idea? but I do know that it is small so thats good and the location of it is not that serious so that is good as well.. they do want to run more tests on me though so I will be back to Utah at the end of January to do more testing, once again bitter sweet.We still don't have the results back from the EEG though so that maybe a whole nother issue and story..

I am normal, I feel normal, I feel fine, I just have wierd things that happen to me every 2 or 3 months that last about 30 seconds thats all. I have lived a normal life like this for 3 years now and I have been fine.  I don't think its a big deal, but yet again I am probably living in denail. I have no idea what the future holds for me and what they are going to do about any of this, however I do know that with the lord anything is possible. After the trials and tribulations come the blessings, this too shall pass... I tell myself those things everyday and pray and search my scriptures everyday for comfort. I know I will get through this and everything will be ok, I guess if your reading this just say an extra prayer for me, thanks.

HOUSEWIVES OF OC!!!

This is what is written on Renaissance Clubsports Facebook wall today as well as in our company daily newsletter

 

Renaissance ClubSport Aliso Viejo As a heads-up, Bravo will be filming The Housewives of OC tonight in our 5:30pm Road Cycle class with Instructor Joan Wenson in Studio 2. For those planning to take class tonight, we appreciate your cooperation and understanding, in advance. Thank you!

 

Say what?? Yes, this is where I work and work out at....

 

The end!

Blogging Does a Job Good!

Coolest most random thing, I blogged about where I work at which is at Renaissance Clubsport for one of the first blogs I did on here, and I guess Renaissance Clubsport's website got 30 hits because of my blog! My work also found out where they were getting the hits from and it said from my blog, wow! So now I am like a shining star at work and they love that my blog got them hits!

So here I am to blog about my work again and give them credit for being such a cool place to work and especially work out at. I am going to work out today for the second time when I get off just cause I can  and cause the gym is SUPER  nice. We have saunas/steamrooms in each of the locker rooms which I am in love with. I LOVE heat and I love to relax after I work out so the fact that I can just go sit in the sauna after I work out is pretty sweet to me, so I like to stay after work to take advantage of that as well. If you have not seen the website for it and or are not a fan of them on facebook you should take a gander of their website and then become their fan on facebook!

If most of the people that actually read my blog did not live in Utah like I know they do, I would recommend that you all join but since your all mostly 600 miles or more away I wont.. however for all of my local Cali readers join, join, join!!

Facebook link:
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/renaissanceclubsportav

Website link: http://www.renaissanceclubsport.com/aliso-viejo/home.do

Thanksgiving Weekend with the Fam

                                           

Christmas time at Disneyland

Here are the pics from Thanksgiving weekend that I did not post in my previous post. Since my parents were up from Utah for Thanksgiving and Wyatt was in town as well we did alot this weekend to celebrate the holiday season.
On saturday night after my parents left all the siblings went to L.A. to an outdoor mall called The Grove its a way sweet outdoor mall, where I have seen celebrities shop at in all the gossip magazines so I loved being there. It was decorated way cute for Christmas outside around all the shops they even had fake snow come out of the buildings and fall to the ground at random times of the night, and people there were estacic about the snow, they loved it and could not get enought of it.... I thought it was so wierd that they were so excited over  snow, if I was to get that excited over snow when I lived in Utah my life would have been a whole lot easier. It was also really cold outside that night, so it actually felt like it could have been real snow, which in a way kinda made me happy oddly enough.. I HATE COLD AND SNOW but I do love it for Christmas and it helped jump me into the christmas spirit since it has not felt like christmas or winter yet here in Cali.

We also went to Disneyland and it was also freezing cold at Disneyland which sucked, but of course it was still fun as well. Disneyland is decorated really cute for Christmas right now and they even changed the Small World ride and decorated the ride of the different countries with how each country celebrates Christmas as well as plays christmas music inside the ride, it was really cute.

Now all the siblings and parents are gone, and the fun ends until 3 MORE WEEKS when I come home for 10 DAYS for CHRISTMAS YAY!

BLACK FRIDAY! (WORK)

Twas the Morning after Thanksgiving and all through my gym not a creature was working out not even John or Kim.  In other words I am at work at 5 am the day after Thanksgiving and NOBODY IS HERE! They are all either still asleep (like I so wish i was) or they are shopping like mad people for Black Friday. litterally I have almost been at work for an hour now and I have checked 3 people in at my gym, 3! Why the heck am I here?! I wish I was asleep or atleast at H&M right now buying shirts and dresses at 50% off...

Now granted, towards the middle and or end of my shift it will probably start to get real busy here, after all it is the day after Turkey Day so everybody is going to want to work that turkey off, they are just sleeping in or shopping first.

I am just bitter that I have to be here because I technically have not had Thanksgiving yet.. my family and I are having Thanksgiving today as soon as I get off work. My parents, Kale, and Alex are here in Cali for Thanksgiving but we did not think Kale and Alex were going to be here until later today so we did not plan on having thanksgiving dinner until today, so I am just bitter I have to work today.....On the bright side the weather here has been amazing and I went running OUTSIDE  in the morning on THANKSGIVING and was too WARM, we also went to the beach yesterday and hung out to take pictures and the sky and beach  was GORGEOUS!

The end.

p.s. I suck at taking pics here with my camera as well as uploading them as well as remembering to bring my camera to work with me so I can upload pics to my blog so no pics... sorry

THE CRAZIEST WEEK AND WEEKEND!

So this past week was hectic, so I am going to take this time to vent and complain a bit so please bare with me. first off I had to open at my work at 4:45 am 3 days in a row this week, which I am so not a fan of but whatever money is money. Second I tried to register my car in California because I live in a community where you have to have parking permits to park on the street at night and they will not give me a pass because I do not have California license plates.. lame. So I was going to try and get it registered however, it turns out because I got my car for sale by owner back in Utah when I bought it last April, I did not get charged sales tax so when the DMV near my house found out that, they told me it would be $630 bucks to register my car because the state of California was going to charge me taxes since I was not charged before when I bought the car! How ridiculously stupid and uncalled for is that?! So needless to say I walked out of their without registering it at all.. I was NOT going to pay $630 bucks to get my car registered in Cali just so I can park on my street for 2 nights of the week.. the other nights I can park in the garage because my bro-in-law Scott works graveyard shifts those nights so he does not need to park in the garage. As for the other nights I may or may not get a ticket and or towed... but so far so good and I still have my $630 bucks!

Then this weekend starting on Thursday I babysat my sister's bosses 5 little crazy kids all weekend. My sister's boss Doug and his wife went to Boston so I slept at their house and babysat their 5 kids. Thier was an 18 year old (was at scout camp most the weekend) a 14 year old girl, a 10 year old boy, a 5 year old boy and last but not least a almost 3 year old boy that is not potty trained... which equals fun, fun, fun!!
I have not really babysat since I was 14 and it was never an over night thing let alone a 4 day extravaganza.. the only kid I have really babsat hardcore is my baby neice Zoe, so this was a whole new adventure for me! Lets just say I had NO IDEA what I was getting myself into..These kids were CRAZY AND OUT OF CONTROL! It was probably the hardest thing I have done in a long time.. and it was great birth control! It definatley made me realize I am not ready for kids anytime soon... (besides the obvious reason ha)

Then last of all I had to speak in Sacrament at church on Sunday in my new singles ward here. I some how have dodged the bullet of ever having to speak in church since I started going to singles wards until now. I don't really mind public speaking though so I was not too nervous about it, I was more worried about the planning part of it because I am not one to wing it or procrastinate and since I had a crazy week last week I was freaking out about planning it and getting it done on time, but of course it all worked out and I feel like I did a pretty good job.

So there ya go that was the details of my crazy week, I have a pretty normal week this week so weeks like last week make me appreciate the normal weeks so much more!

This is how I felt this week stressed and unsure

HALLOWEEN AND FRIENDS!

So when I moved here my sister told me that it would probably take about 3 months for me to make friends and or feel like I have made it "In" with people here in Cali, and boy was she right on the money! I made friends right when I moved here, but it was not until just barley that I really started to feel like I belong and or found a "group" of friends that I could just go and hang out with. Slowly but surely I made it. Nobody can ever and will ever compare to my old crews of friends in Utah though but why not add to the group?

A bunch of us got together and went to a dance in Hunnington Beach for Halloween so that was fun. However, it ended up being a 35 and older singles dance and we had no idea, so that was definatley entertaining ha good thing there was a big group of us or else it would have been really wierd!

I bought an annual pass to Disneyland and I have actually been quite a few times recently. A bunch of people in my ward also have annual passes to disneyland so it has been fun to get a bunch of us together that have passes and go to disneyland at night which is awesome!

THANK YOU SUNNY CALIFORNIA!!

So the word on the street.. or shall I say facebook is that it SNOWED in Utah this week!! Now if I was still there I would be TICKED!! anytime it snows before Halloween when I lived in Utah I was always so mad and bitter about it.

On the bright side, I am going to be a brat for a minute and rub it in all of your faces that here in Cali this week the weather has been absolutley beautiful!! Seriously my bro in law Scott even took my niece Zoe to the beach yesterday, and where I work people are laying out by the pool! It is almost November and people are laying out? ha LOVE IT! I have never experienced this before at this time of year. Usually for me it hits the end of September and I start to hate until the end of March or April until it starts to get warm again in Utah. However, this year months mean nothing cause it will be warm or atleast luke warm all year! muaahhhh hahhaa!!

Now the last couple weeks in Cali the weather was kind of lame, it rained here for a week straight and yes I was quite ticked about it... however everybody here kept telling me it was just a fluke and that it never rains here and the weather here is always usually pretty nice... so I bared with it and knew it would pass. I also figured as long as I did not have to deal with snow I could not complain too much.

So yes I will bask in the sunlight here while you all freeze in the snow...

My Parents Came to Visit!

Adorable!

Snow on the beach?

It looks like it is snowing, but it was just raining

I love them!

Beach by our house

Space Mountain!!

We look good

Mickey Mouse Disneyland Trick or Treat Party

It is amazing how much you take your parents for granted when you live with them. Now that I don't live with my mom and dad anymore I appreciate them so much more. Seriously moving out has made me realize how amazing my mom and dad truly are and how lucky I am to have them.

My mom use to drive me nuts at home in Utah at times, however now that I don't live there with her, the things that use to drive me nuts about her kinda make me laugh and miss her...wierd how that works. My dad is just so funny and handy and was able to give me a blessing this weekend and it made me so greatful for them. I love them so much!

We had alot of fun with them here and did alot of fall-ish things. We went to a pumkin patch Thursday night for Zoe, as well as a Halloween costume store to pick out costumes to wear to Disneyland's Trick or Treat party on Friday night.

Friday we went to Disneyland's Mickey Mouse Halloween party. Everybody dresses up to go, and they kick everybody else out who does not have a ticket for it out of the park. They have trick or treat stations all around Disneyland where they pass out HUGE amounts of candy, and I mean the good stuff like Gardelli chocolates, M&M's, Snickers, Milkyways, etc. We ended up getting SO much candy seriously we each had 2 huge bag fulls! It is bitter sweet because now we are going to be eating candy for months...

On Saturday we just kind of hung out and took it easy during the day. Then at night we all went to the beach and took pictures and got hot chocolate.. it was kinda cold that day, however our pictures turned out great.

My parents left on Sunday morning. They never stay that long, but it was great to spend time with them and see them again to be able to appreciate them more.

Pics of My New Life

Chasing Zoe on the beach

My huge walk-in closet

Bed side of my new room in Cali

Part of my new room

Am I Really Awake Right Now?

So..... as crazy as this sounds, it is 5:00 am right now and I have already been at work for almost a half hour, as well as been awake and up and going for an hour and a half already....depressing? a little bit ya! I work at a gym, and since most gyms open at 5:00 am, that means on the days I open I am scheduled to work at 4:45 am which means I have to wake up around 3:40 am and leave my house by 4:10 am...gross!

I do it, but not going to lie it is hard. On the nights before the morning I have to wake up at the crack of dawn, I try to be in bed by 9:30 or 10:00 pm, however for people my age in my generation that is nearly impossible to do... we are just not trained to go to bed that early!

The good thing about working so early is that I get off work by 11:00 am. However, since I work at the gym, I stay after work to get my work out in for the day, so I don't usually get done until about 1 pm, but still to be done with work and working out by 1:00 pm everyday is pretty sweet! If I have nothing going on that day and nothing that I seriously need to get done, I go home and take a much needed nap, and let me tell you what, I love my naps!

My mom however wakes up at 3:30 am every morning by choice cause she is an overachiever... she tries to accomplish the world all before she leaves for work at 7:00 am. Seriously that woman is AMAZING, a little crazy at times, but AMAZING!

So here is props to my mom, and a little venting time from me about my schedule...